The Sunday blues (formerly Monday's, but this is Israel)

After spending a lovely weekend at Janie and Moshe's house, I woke up to dingy weather at 6:00 this morning to catch a bus back to Arad. After a hurried breakfast, Janie and Moshe took me to the bus station and dropped me off. After waiting for what seemed like several years to have my luggage searched before entering the station, I had to try to figure out where my bus was.

There were a ton of platforms and one little board that showed destinations and platform numbers. And there were a lot more destinations than could fit on the board at once. I watched it go through all the names twice, never once seeing Be'er Sheva. So it was up to me to search for it. And it was a seriously frustrating project.

By the time I found my platform, I had missed the bus that would have gotten me to Be'er Sheva in time for the transfer that would get me to Arad at 10:00. Complicated, isn't it? After a 90-minute ride, I got off in the middle of a very rainy desert town and started searching for the platform that would get me to Arad. After finding it, and two of my program-mates as well, we acknowledged that there was no way we would make our 10:00 deadline. And it was true. We didn't get back to Arad until 10:10, and it was 10:15 by the time I was at the mirkaz klitah gates. Therefore, the first half of ulpan had to be a write-off this morning. I made the second half, with time to unpack included.

Lunch was disappointing as usual. And an aura of depression has surrounded my whole day. Why? I really don't know. I feel lonely here. I can't even explain why. At first, I was unhappy with my surroundings, but now that feels like the least of my problems. But when I'm asked why I feel so sad, I don't even know how to answer. I like the program. I like the people here, even though I'm not particularly close to anyone. I just want to be happy here, but for some reason I'm not. And I'm just as confused about it as anyone else.

As for my weekend, I enjoyed being with Janie and Moshe. They took me to the beach at sunset, and to a beautiful park near their house. I got to see my second cousin Michal for only the second time, which was nice. And I met Moshe's sister, her husband and their children, and they are all wonderfully nice people. But I still didn't feel like myself. I didn't feel happy or upbeat. I can't muster up my usual silliness.

Ok, I need to stop depressing myself now. Hopefully, my next post will be a lot more happy.